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The Monkey's Paw


Granted. You now can count frames per second with grace.

I wish I knew all languages and understood what they meant.


Granted, everyone forgot what talking and writing is forever. Thus you understand all 0 of the languages

I wish my cat was cuter


Granted. Now your cat can slice things better with their nails and fangs.

I wish I could automatically translate anything.


Granted, but you can only translate things to a language you created and no one cares about.

I wish I had a PS4.


Granted. You had one, but you never had any chance to use it.

I wish I have the power to detect lies.


Granted, but you would never know the truth.

I wish they made more good anime


Granted, but now the quality is stuck in 144p

I wish I could become a cyborg


Granted but the body is controlled by a remote owned by your arch enemy

I wish I would gain 1 million dollars right now and be able to spend it on whatever I wanted


Granted but the price of everything was increased by a million dollars.

I wish that everyone was turned into a kitten


Granted, but it was in the ambiguous and sexual version of the phrasing and you regret it for your entire lifetime.

I wish benches would appear more often at the street. I need to rest.


Granted, but now the streets are filled with so many benches that you cannot ever walk on them anymore without difficulty

I wish I can know the experience of being a god


Granted but you cease to exist

I wish that firekitten was actually a kitten that is on fire


Granted but since he’s already is a kitten on fire your wish did nothing.

I wish that nuclearburrito was a nuclearburrito


Granted but I already ate it

I wish that you wish that I wish for a tasty slice of cake


Wish granted but since you didn’t specify a time I’ll do it later. But…

I wish that I don’t have to wish what Nuke wished me to do


Granted, but you two keep doing that until someone messes up with the order, but it went for so long you guys spent years trying to find who did it incorrectly.

I wish I had not forgot the rules of my own game and didn’t post it without a wish below.


Granted but you had to edit your post in order to do so

I wish I could read minds


Granted, but everyone else can hear your thoughts

I wish I am the ultimate Woomy


Granted, but now Splatoon has voice chat and no one will use it.

I wish I did my first quote


Granted but you get the badge months afterwards instead of immediately

I wish I was good at the video game Dead Cells