I suppose some might be wondering why I’ve decided to remove myself from design and hosting for the forseeable future.
I’ve done some thinking and realized that, well, ever since my first time co-hosting with EFoL 3 to my latest in Insurgency, all seven games that I’ve co-hosted have all contained some kind of egregious errors from me, in the design process and/or in the hosting process.
All of the games that were “my” idea (Virtuous and Insurgency so far, I think), I never really designed any of. I left all the work to co-designers, which I am really sorry for. I don’t know if it’s that I actually suck at balance like I claim, or I just fear to try, or something else. I’m sorry to co-designers that I time burdoned immensely in this regard.
All games that this wasn’t the case, i.e. pre-established setups, all had some sort of egregious mechanical and/or laziness error(s) in-game that were my and only my fault.
Ultimately, at this point, I absolutely have never done a game anywhere near competently, if you consider its origin at ideological conception to completion of the game. Personally, I assess the process as a whole for each and every game I’ve been a part of from the hosting end, I’ve never even reached 50% of what I think should be acceptable.
I know some people have had fun in my games, but at this point, it is just not safe anymore for me to be a full-on co-designer or co-host for anything, for the forseeable future.
I don’t mean to wallow in self-pity, but yeah this thread is I guess just a request for tips applicable to me specifically on how to not be so royally incompetent throughout the game creation and running process.
It’s also a request to anyone that would be okay with that to observe the design and hosting process for any games going forward, as well as for me be able to ask questions in such chats to take notes on, but with zero responsibilities and zero hosting duties. Maybe if I learned from those far better from me and studied such philosophies, I might one day be able to co-design or co-host properly. No way to know for sure, but worth a shot, I figure.